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Home: About

Everyone has a story....

This is mine.

There are a thousand things I could tell you about myself. 

 

That I am a writer, mother, wife, massage therapist, dog mom, healer, nature-lover, subpar knitter and car karaoke singer. That I’m both super outgoing and deeply introverted. That I’m usually the first and last one on a dance floor. 

 

That I have a dream of wearing a mascot uniform and I parallel park for fun. That I never memorized the twelve multiplication table, rarely follow a recipe as it’s written and accidently injure small children when I play with them.

 

But these don’t tell you WHO I am. 

 

They don’t tell you that I am a trauma survivor. That I once lost myself so completely, I thought I was gone for good. I was drowning in conditioning and believed nearly all of it. 

 

 

photo of Suzanne C. Carver

I almost gave up, but some deep part of me refused to surrender. Some part of me believed. And I wanted to know who she was, that version of me.

 

So began the path within. 

 

I won’t pretend it is an easy, straight road. I get lost time and again. I am often terrified of the shadows and threats along the way. 

 

But here’s what I've found: so much of what lived in me, what frightened and destabilized me, wasn’t me. My insides were clogged with false beliefs, unhealed trauma, carried shame and other people’s distortions and projections.

 

And beneath all of it was my whole, true self. It had been with me all along. There, in that sacred, private space was the untouched me. My soul force. My light.

 

Liberation – from trauma, white conditioning, body shame and patriarchy – is what I seek, what I practice, what I fail at, what I hunger for. To know myself. To be myself. To free myself and help others do the same.

 

Liberation is an imperfect, gradual process. One that deserves our deepest compassion. One that allows us possibility for profound freedom, fulfillment, connection and joy. 

 

Within each of us lives our most true and precious selves. Even if we’ve forgotten it. Even if we feel utterly lost. Even if we have been trained to believe otherwise. 

I have a vision of all of us as free, alive and awake, contributing our unique gifts and essence to the world. 

 

Because most of what I’d been taught about myself was spectacularly wrong. I am so much more than I could have imagined. 

 

And so are you.

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