The decision isn't whether we'll belong. It's where. We can keep belonging to everyone else. Or we can begin belonging to ourselves. We stop waiting for permission. We become the ones who grant it.

What's happening here, Suzanne? you may be asking. Aren't you anti-diet? Aren't you all about loving your body as it is? Don't you have a history of disordered eating? ARE YOU OKAY? All excellent questions—ones I have been asking myself for weeks. (The answers, by the way, are yes, yes, yes, and no.)

All I wanted was to be chosen. As a date for the homecoming dance of 10th grade. By my top choice college. By that guy and then that girl. By that employer. By that agent, publisher, reader. By that client. By the speaking booking agent. But not just them. I wanted it all. I wanted to be chosen by the scrolling Instagramer, that recalcitrant Amazon reviewer, that stranger who didn’t return my greeting. By my cat who spins away when I call her name. Here’s the dirty truth: I e